Things we lost
by xXforgottenXx
Summary: Sasuke can't stand it anymore: his blood, this family, the loneliness. But when he's send away to a mental hospital and everything can only get worse, Lady Luck is on his side. And he understands that there exists sth beside pain. - AU narusasu YAOI mXm


Warning: This story WILL contain yaoi (mXm) in later chapters: Don't like - Don't read. Easy isn't it?

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto (and co.). I don't WANT to own Naruto (and co.), because it would be too much work! (And the fangirls are scary...)

A/N: I'm not from England, Ireland, the US or any other part of the world where you speak English. I'm from Germany. BUT I have someone who corrects my mistakes BUT if there are still some please let me know and I'll correct them immediately. (My A/N and so on are not reread... ;) This is also my first fanfic ever... Oh god I'm nervous...

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_**You can't fight the tears that ain't coming.**_

The cold metal slowly came in contact with pale skin. A shivery breath could be heard and Sasuke closed his eyes. In, out, in. The skin broke. If someone would have been watching he would have cried out, shouted, ordered him to stop, the image alone too painful. Sasuke didn't dare to breathe and opened his eyes. He stared down at his wrist. The razor blade still stuck in his flesh, the blood dripping down. Sasuke felt sick.

But that was normal, as normal as this could be, he was used to it. It came always along with the blade and the blood, the pain. Apparently fascinated his eyes followed the red drops, sliding down his arm now. He pulled the thin metal out, closing his hand around it. Silence.

Sasuke looked up, his door was closed, no cries, no one bursting in, no one stopping him. Cautiously he got to his feet, without using his hands, the towel slid off his legs and pooled around his ankles. He walked around his bed and stood now in front of the bathroom door, connected to his bedroom. He pushed the handle down with his left hand and opened the door a bit, he slid trough the gap and made his way to the sink, closing the door with a small klick. Sasuke turned on the water, everything seemed to be so slow. He looked up and turned his head to the clock, hanging on the wall next to the shower. 10 minutes.

_**Or the moment of truth in your lies**_

He registered the sound of the water hitting hard porcelain and he turned back to his hands and the cold water, now mixing with blood. His blood.

Maybe he should show his father this, to convince him that even their blood wasn't blue. Sasuke brushed over the new and the old cuts with his index and middle finger, realizing now, that blood was dripping down his right hand. He open the fist, he had made until now, releasing the razor blade.

He stared for a moment, turned the water off, took a black towel from a catch and slowly, carefully dried his hands. Than he went to the first aid kit, opened it and took out several bandages, a bottle with the inscription: disinfectant and a cotton pad. Sasuke turned to the side; his look directed at the edge of the white tub. He sat down and started to dress his wound. First the spray, then the pad and finally the bondage. Everything was routine.

He stood up and went back into his room. Sasuke sat down at his desk chair and put his head into the palms of his hands, ignoring the pain that spread through his arms. After all, that was the point. 15 minutes.

_**When everything seems like the movies**_

„Sasuke? Dinner's ready!" his mother shouted. No respond. Slowly the door opened. His mother came in, she had flipped her black hair over her shoulder and a tray of food in her hands. Her eyes locked with the back of her son. She walked calmly across the room and sat the tray next to him on the desk. Her look lingered just for a moment longer on her son, before she turned and left.

Sasuke looked up, he smelled the food, he could practically taste it, it was steaming. Yeah, Ushiha's cooks were the best. One of Sasuke's hands slipped down to hold his stomach, his jaw tightened. He stood up his eyes still on the hot food, he took several steps and opened his bathroom door once again, and, not bothering to close it, leaned over the sink, again, emptying his stomach into it.

_**Yeah you bleed just to know your alive**_

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First chapter. Hope you... enjoyed it even if it is not such a joyful theme, but some of my friends were cutting so I wanted to write about it. (The bold printed sentences are from the song Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls)

Please review! °o°


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